I’ve been thinking about things I could share on my blog, and there are so many. I feel like God has been teaching me so much and helping me grow in a lot of different areas. But I think the biggest thing God has been teaching me about is contentment.
Contentment is something that we all struggle with. It is so human for us to long for things we don’t have and to sometimes wish we didn’t have the things we do. The grass is always greener on the other side. The goal post for happiness is always moving. As soon as we get the thing we long for, we now long for something else. As soon as a trial we have begged God to bring to a close finally ends, we start complaining about something else.
I genuinely think this is what our flesh does. In our flesh, there is no contentment. Our flesh is always lusting after something. What God has been challenging me in, is to find joy in the life He has given me now. He is asking me to embrace the good things and the bad things because they are all a part of His plan. This kind of contentment is only possible through the Holy Spirit. Our flesh fights contentment, but the Holy Spirit produces the fruit of contentment.
I’m reading a book about contentment, and the author has a very simple but impactful definition for it. She defines contentment simply as “a deep satisfaction with the will of God.” That simple definition really struck a chord with me. Do I have a deep satisfaction with God’s will? Am I deeply satisfied with all the things that God has given me, allowed in my life, or orchestrated to happen, both good and bad? That is hard to answer honestly. It also begs the question, what does it look like then, to be discontent? It seems like it would look like being dissatisfied with the will of God.
If I am discontent, I am rebelling against God and His will, and I have a distrust in Him. If I say that I trust God, and if I say I want His will to be done, then there is no room left for me to be discontent. After reading about this definition of contentment, I felt heavy conviction. Do I trust God? Do I trust that His plans are better than mine? Do I trust that His timing is perfect? Do I somehow think I could do better if I was in control?
These questions brought to mind this passage in Isaiah 55: 8, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” I also thought of Isaiah 45:9b “Does the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you making?’ Does your work say, ‘The potter has no hands’?”
Who am I to question the Creator of the universe, the Potter, whose thoughts are infinitely higher than mine and whose ways are infinitely better than mine? Not only does God deserve my respect, reverence, and worship, He deserves for me to trust Him. He is so loving, kind, and trustworthy. He cares about me and desires my good. Therefore, I can be content, because God’s will is the best thing that could possibly come to pass.
So I resolved that I would be content with my life and all that God decided to give, take away, or withhold. Then I tried to put contentment into practice, but I misunderstood how to do so. I thought that contentment had to do with emotion– that if I was sad about something or confused by something then I was being discontent. But God can handle our emotions. He knows that we are emotional beings, with lots of thoughts and feelings. He knows that we may struggle with how to handle those emotions and He has grace for us.
I’ll get more specific so I can unpack this more. Me and my husband want to have a baby and are trying to get pregnant, but we haven’t been able to get pregnant yet. Honestly, the fact that I even desire to have a baby and be a mother is a miracle in itself– but that may be a whole other story for a different time. As we have been praying for God to give us a baby and asking our community to pray that we can get pregnant, I have started to have moments of doubt, dicsouragement, sadness, frustration, confusion, and all kinds of emotions. As I am faced with a deep desire to be a mother and I am not yet one, there are lots of feelings coming up.
At first, I didn’t allow space for those feelings. I thought if I was content, then it wasn’t okay for me to feel anything but happiness. But that’s not what contentment means. Contentment is a choice, much like forgiveness. You can choose to forgive someone but still have feelings you have to work through and surrender to God. You may feel sad because of what they did, or angry, or hurt. Does that mean that you haven’t forgiven that person? I would say no, it doesn’t mean you haven’t forgiven them. It means that you are still processing your feelings and it is an ongoing process. You’ve already made the choice, but there are moments where you have to make that choice to forgive again, to let go of bitterness and not allow yourself to keep a record of wrongs.
In the same way, contentment is a choice. There will be times where feelings or questions come up, and you need to talk to God and your community about those things. Then you need to choose again to trust God and be satisfied with His will; to be content. When I got sad and discouraged, it made me think I was doing something wrong. But God lovingly and graciously showed me that it’s okay to feel things. How we react to our feelings and the actions we take in response to them, that’s what matters.
Are you allowing your feelings to rule over you, to convince you of lies, to drag you into rebellion against God? Are you being honest with God about your feelings and sharing them with Him? Are you surrendering your questions and confusion to Him and asking Him to give you faith and peace? Are you being vulnerbale with your church community and talking to them about your feelings and questions? Are you asking people to pray with you and for you as you deal with your emotions? These are the important questions to be asking ourselves as we strive to honor God and be content.
God is so kind to encourage us to do godly things and then teach us how to do those things. He is teaching me what contentment really is and at the same time, He is teaching me how to practice it, what it does and does not look like. That’s all that He asks of us, not that we are perfect, but that we are obedient. If He is asking you to do something and you feel like you don’t know how to do it, then He will teach you and help you along the way. If you’re doing it wrong or making mistakes in the process, He will gently correct you and show you what to do. God honors our obedience and honors our efforts to please Him.
So I am seeking to practice contentment in my life, no matter what does or doesn’t happen. When I am longing for a good thing and I do not yet have it, I want to be satisfied with God’s will. When things unexpectedly fall apart, I want to be satisfied with God’s will. When things are fun and exciting and beautiful, I want to be satisfied with God’s will. When things are difficult and seemingly impossible, I want to be satisfied with God’s will. I do not expect to do it perfectly, and I know God doesn’t expect me to either. But I want to be obedient, and where I fall short I will cling to the grace and mercy Jesus has for us.
There will always be things we can complain and grumble about. There will always be things we can long for that we do not have. There will always be the temptation to be dissatisfied with God’s will– but we can choose the path less traveled. We can choose contentment. We can choose obedience. God has given you the life you have. He has orchestrated or allowed everything in your life to be as it is, and He does not make mistakes. Whether you are loving life and thriving, or you are in the valley and struggling deeply, or if you are feeling bored and living in the mundane— this is where God has you. Find joy in the things He has gifted you with. Find purpose in this life He has purposefully given you. Find contentment in the present. God desires for you to be deeply satisfied with His will. Thanks for showing up,
Elena ❤
Rejoicing in Truth 