7 Years of Freedom

It’s been 7 years since my family found out that my dad had been sexually abusing me. My life is completley different now. I’ve been reflecting a lot today on how much the Lord has done in these last 7 years and I am truly blown away. He is so good. It makes me so grateful to think about the fact that my Heavenly Father loved me so deeply and had so much compassion for me that He just couldn’t allow me to stay where I was. 

All those years ago, He brought me out of the pit and set my feet upon solid ground. He saved me out of the darkness I was in and brought me into His marvelous light. I truly feel as if my life didn’t start until that day, 7 years ago. Since then, the Lord has brought so much healing into my life, He has given me joy and freedom! He has truly set me free from the many things that enslaved me. 

I stand here today able to so confidently testify of the Lord’s goodness and grace because I have experienced it firsthand. There are so many things that God has done in my life that I just never imagined would happen. The life I had planned for myself before this day 7 years ago was a very sad and hopeless life. I felt trapped and truly believed not a soul would ever know my dad abused me, but the Lord wouldn’t allow me to stay in that prison. He forced me into a life that could be lived in the light, exposing every bit of darkness until there was none left.

Soon after I opened up about the abuse, I went to therapy. I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression, and anxiety. These diagnoses felt like they would last forever and these mental health struggles would just always be a part of me. But again, God had different plans! I am able to say something I thought I would never be able to say this side of heaven– Jesus has healed me from my PTSD! Praise God for His goodness and mercy toward me. 

The panic attacks, flashbacks, constant triggers, and nightmares are things that I almost never experience anymore. There are certainly still struggles that I face and impacts from the abuse I went through, but the Lord has truly healed me of a disorder that I thought I would live with forever. I believe the Lord has healed me from the anxiety that I battled these last few years, and I believe that He will heal me from the depression in His timing. I can say that God has brought me out of most of the depression, but I still battle with it at times. But I praise God for all that He has done already!

God has also done miracles in my family and our relationships these last 7 years. He has brought closeness and strength into my relationships with my siblings, He has healed my relationship with my mom, and He has brought healing and reconciliation in other family relationships as well. The Lord did all of this through the difficulty of exposing sin and darkness. That is why He calls us to live and walk in the light, not in the darkness. Because the darkness is where satan thrives. The darkness is where sin festers and grows. But the light is where Jesus is! The light is where healing and restoration and beauty come.

God has also brought me through the process of pressing charges against my dad and him being sentenced to 20 years in prison. The Lord was so faithful during that really difficult time and He was so present with me. God showed me that He is a God of justice and vengeance is the Lord’s, not mine. But He also allowed me to see that sin has consequences and that it is okay to desire justice even on earth. God was so merciful to me to lead me into filing a police report, pressing charges, and carrying me all the way until the sentencing date. I 100% believe that it was God’s mercy for me that my dad is in prison, but also that it was His mercy for my dad. 

I hope and pray that my dad is truly humbled and repentant and the Lord leads him to a real and deep relationship with Jesus. I believe the Lord loves my dad deeply, and that love is what brought my dad to prison where he will be most challenged to actually surrender to and follow Jesus.

The Lord has also been so faithful and kind to bless me with my husband, Dillon. I have seen God’s power and love in the way He has strengthened and protected my marriage. I have been able to understand Jesus’ love for the church more by the way my husband has loved me and stood by me during very difficult times. God has brought so much healing in me during my marriage and has given me freedom from the effects of sexual trauma. I am amazed by how much the Lord has done in healing me mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually during these last (almost) 4 years of marriage.

Another thing the Lord has done in these last 7 years is that He has allowed me to help so many women who have experienced sexual abuse. God has brought me comfort and hope and I have been able to pass on that same comfort and hope to others (2 Corinthians 1:3-7). I am truly humbled and amazed by how many people God has allowed me to help, support, love, encourage, and pray for in their healing journeys. I have met so many other survivors of sexual abuse and the Lord has been so good to bring me healing through those survivors and hopefully bring them healing through me.

There are so many stories I could tell and ways I could testify about the fact that God is the Healer. I will always be amazed at the ways He has healed me and I hope that I will always seek to point others to this amazing Healer. 

The way the Lord saved me from the abuse and trauma I was in is truly such a tangible metaphor for the gospel and the way Jesus has saved us from our sin. In the same way that I was broken and full of shame and living in darkness–we are all broken, ashamed, and living in darkness unless we have been saved. In the same way that I was hopeless and alone, we all are until we meet Jesus. I needed saving from my situation of abuse and darkness, but so much more than that I needed saving from my own sin and brokenness that I was born into. 

We are all born into a world of sin and brokenness (Genesis 3). None of us is good, not a single one of us (Romans 3:10-12). Our sin and wrongdoing deserves to be punished, we deserve to be subject to the wrath of God (Romans 6:23). Because of this, we all need a Savior, someone who can pay the price for our sins and for the punishment that we deserve (John 3:16-18) That’s where Jesus comes in! 

God sent His only Son, Jesus, to live a perfect life, die a gruesome death, take on the wrath and punishment of God that we deserved, and then rise back to life three days later. Jesus was the perfect and final sacrifice required to cover our sins. When we go to Him, acknowledge that He is the one true God and He truly came, died, and rose, and we ask for forgiveness–He freely gives it! When we ask for Jesus’ forgiveness and we dedicate our lives to following Him, we are saved. We get to have a relationship with the God of the universe, our Healer, our Father, and our Savior.

God saves us out of the pit of darkness that we are in, and sets our feet upon solid ground! God brings us into His marvelous light, He covers our shame and guilt and gives us freedom from sin, and He brings healing and joy into our lives. This is the gospel, the good news!

I truly believe that the deliverance the Lord gave me out of the abuse from my dad has been the clearest picture of the gospel I have seen in my life. But God’s deliverance for me out of this situation doesn’t even come close to His deliverance of my Spirit from my own sin. He has given me a new life and made me an entirely new creation. I am no longer a slave to sin and brokenness, I am a slave to righteousness! 

If you haven’t accepted this good news, the gospel, I pray that you will today. God will deliver you from your sin and brokenness and you will start a completely new life. Following Jesus has been the best decision I have ever made, and I pray you will make the same decision.

God truly desires what is best for us and He truly is good. There are countless ways I have experienced God’s goodness, mercy, and love. If you haven’t ever experienced this before–you are missing out and I pray that you would seek Jesus. God says that if you seek Him, you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). Knock and the door will be opened to you (Matthew 7:7-8).

I praise God for the way He has changed my life. I walk in freedom today because of Him. I am so, so thankful to walk in the light for the rest of my life and to never live in darkness and secrecy again. Praise God! Thanks for showing up,

-Elena ❤