trauma – Rejoicing in Truth

“Hurt”

I have never felt this angry at my dad in my life. Not while he was abusing me. Not when he chose to never tell anyone. Not when he acted surprised that I was affected by the abuse. Not when he acted frustrated with me because he feels the right to have a relationship withContinue reading ““Hurt””

walking to class

soft raindrops fall into puddles on the pavement. a serene scene. she quickly walks through the peaceful setting. climbing up the stairs, her heartbeat quickens. she loses control. she walks past the classroom door. she almost made it to her class, now she is in the bathroom on the floor. so unlike the raindrops outside,Continue reading “walking to class”

7 Years of Freedom

It’s been 7 years since my family found out that my dad had been sexually abusing me. My life is completley different now. I’ve been reflecting a lot today on how much the Lord has done in these last 7 years and I am truly blown away. He is so good. It makes me soContinue reading “7 Years of Freedom”

Father’s Day

This past Father’s Day sparked a lot of thoughts in my head. For me, every Father’s Day brings a lot of mixed emotions. My biological dad abused me, he is in prison, and just frankly, he was a really bad father. I also have many friends and family who have difficult relationships with their dadsContinue reading “Father’s Day”

I Hope This Makes You Feel Less Alone

If you know me well, you know I am pretty much an open book. But that is not how I used to be. A big part of my story is that I was a vault of secrecy when I was younger surrounding the fact that my dad was sexually abusing me. It is honestly crazyContinue reading “I Hope This Makes You Feel Less Alone”

dear dad, isn’t it ironic?

dear dad, you are the one meant to protect, to love, to be trusted. you are the one meant to support, to comfort, to be there. where are you? you are not here. you are alone. i wasn’t safe around you, i needed protection. i fell apart around you, i needed support. isn’t it ironicContinue reading “dear dad, isn’t it ironic?”

Survivors Thriving and Writing

This past weekend, I had an opportunity to go on a retreat called the Survivors Thriving and Writing Retreat. It was created by Tori Hope Peterson who is the leader of The Beloved Initiative Non-profit. She wanted to create a space for survivors of trauma and abuse to learn and grow together in their writing,Continue reading “Survivors Thriving and Writing”

A Broken Girl, a Patient Boy, and a Good God

A few months ago, I shared the story of how Dillon and I began a friendship and how we started dating a year later. God was so kind and so present during that season of life, and He remained that way once Dillon and I started dating. I thought it was fitting to go backContinue reading “A Broken Girl, a Patient Boy, and a Good God”

In Church

TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual Abuse I saw a guitar and thought of you. When you used to play your guitar the tension in my body lessened. Either because you made beautiful music or because it meant your hands were occupied. Better to caress the strings of a guitar than the skin of your daughter. Better toContinue reading “In Church“

Struggling With Depression as a Christian

Though I didn’t always understand what it was, I have struggled with depression for a lot of my life. There are seasons of life where I feel like I am drowning in depression and there are seasons of life where I don’t feel like it is an issue. Especially in the past 5 years, myContinue reading “Struggling With Depression as a Christian”